Today would have been our due date. Back in June when we first found out we were pregnant, one of the first things we did was use one of those really handy online due date calculators. Thinking back now, the doctor never gave me a due date (oh how hindsight is 20/20) but everything online said that March 10th would be the big day. And we all know that my baby would have been perfectly on time! :) But as everyone also knows, this is the due date that wasn't meant to be.
Have I sat around and cried all day? Not at all. I met a friend for lunch, I hung out with Travis, we went to dinner, and now I am writing this blog. I have to say that those activities sound a lot more fun then laying in a hospital room, numb from the waist down, as an 8 pound human tries to break free from my insides. Does it still hurt though? Of course. There hasn't been a single day since we found out that I haven't thought about that child at least once. It was my child. I love it. It's not here with me and it isn't going to be. I love to think that my grandmother is just walking around holding it all day long. Giving it tons and tons of kisses and hugs. But while it still hurts, I know that good things are coming our way and that helps A LOT!
Since the last blog we finished out home study! After having our FBI clearances "misplaced" for about 2 weeks, they were finally found on someone's desk in the agencies office. Pheww! I was starting to think that maybe Travis's job as insurance claims adjuster was really code for CIA worker. Then last Monday Allison, our social worker, came out to the house to make sure we didn't have a meth lab hidden in our garage and that we had a fire extinguisher. (Not joking about that fire extinguisher part either... that is an actual part of the home study.) I have found the home study to be a very interesting part of the adoption process. It pretty much boils down to Travis and I sharing our whole life history with our social worker. Her asking us to describe ourselves, each other, and our house. Then her taking exactly what we said and typing it up in a report. She literally said to me many times, "Just tell me whatever you want me to put in the report." Made me kind of want to yell, "What am I paying you for? I can write an autobiography about myself..." BUT it has to be done, so I put sarcastic Dana away, and smiled my best smile and answered the questions. And for those of you that are curious, I described my hair as being dark blond and straight. (This was how exciting the questions were that we had to answer to determine if we would be able to raise a baby.)
So apparently my hair type was acceptable and Allison passed us on our home study. I was able to contact our lawyers the next day to have us put on the website! Seeing our "Dear Birth Mother" letter on the website really made us feel official. Here is the link if anyone is interested:
If you go to the very top of the page there is a section that says "Families waiting for African American or mixed race babies" click on that link and then you will find us.
So now we just wait. We think that we are pretty fabulous, but we need a birth mother to think that also. I have no clue how in the world you could choose someone to parent your child from a 5 page letter with some pictures thrown in, but hopefully our letter will speak to someone. In the mean time, while we wait, we are continuing to work on the nursery. As most of you know I LOVE a good sale. As I was looking for gender neutral crib bedding I found some on CLEARANCE at Target. Now anyone who has ever bought crib bedding knows how freaking expensive it is! But here was bedding that I LOVED for only $50! The whole shabang too. Bumper, sheet, bed skirt, blanket. I was thrilled....so I bought it. I then of course also had to break out the Cricut to make some wall art. Here is the picture of what we have so far:
I now realize that I need to do some massive straightening of the canvases on the wall... but we have time. I also ordered the vinyl sticker of what I wanted on the wall when you first walk in the room. It is:
LOVE LOVE LOVE this, simply because it is so true. And on those 3:00 A.M. mornings, when I am stumbling into the child's room because it is screaming for who knows what reason, I want the first thing I see be that wall, so I remember just how much I have prayed, and you all have prayed, for this child. It is truly going to be a blessing from God. BUT... and here is the big BUT, I got it in the mail today, I excitedly open the tube it came in, because I was going to put it right up on that wall right that second, and it was HOT PINK! hmmmmm now I know that I am not the best interior designer in the world, but I could just hear my friend Leah, who is a very talented decorator, screaming, " You will NOT be putting hot pink up on the wall in that room!" So I didn't. Instead I emailed the company and asked very nicely why it was hot pink, when I had ordered black. Luckily the apologized immensely for the mistake and are sending me a new one. So... if anyone needs a hot pink wall sticker, you just let me know!
We still have other things to get of course. We have no way to bring a child home from the hospital, nothing to put it's clothes in, and not even a diaper in the house, but we figured that we could just slowly buy these things as we get the money. It's a lot cheaper to buy in pieces then get a surprise call to come pick up our baby and have NOTHING and have to randomly spend $700 on baby supplies.
So there was no baby born today for us, but we know that odds are, our baby is cooking right now. I have no clue when it is going to be born. There is no magic due date calender online that can give me that information this time around. We just have to wait. So wait we will. And I know that as soon as we do get the call, and as soon as I hold that little one in my arms, the wait won't have even mattered.
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