I have been the world's worst blogger. It has literally been almost 5 months since my last post. I wrote the last post about 12 days after Keegan was born. Last Wednesday he turned 5 months old. I don't understand how that happened. I've heard parents say how time flies by but I honestly didn't realize how true that was. My little baby has started eating cereal and can sit on his own for brief seconds. He loves to jump in his jumper and cracks up every time we play Peek-A-Boo. He has such a little personality and is very quick to "yell" at us when he is mad. He is just the most amazing human in the world. I knew I would love him, but I had no clue it would be this much.

I've always been a pretty relaxed person, but Keegan has turned me into a spastic crazy women. I have to send a public apology out to my sister at this point. I used to make fun of her for the amount of times she would take her son's temperature. I even bought her 10 thermometers one Christmas to just dig the jab a little bit deeper. I must now admit that I am a daily temperature taker. If he even feels slightly warm, I quickly pull out the thermometer, "just to check". I wake up at 3:00 a.m. just to stare at the monitor to wait for him to make a small move so I know he is still breathing. I have become an official "worrier". All because of an 18 lb boy. (Yes, you read that right... he is chilling right around 18 lbs. at 5 months.)

As the quote above says, he doesn't have my eyes or mouth and we surly don't have the same skin color, but there is not a single doubt in my mind that he is ours. From the very first moment in the hospital, I knew he was ours. There was a connection deep down to the soul that I can imagine only comes with your own child. I didn't have to birth him, (and thank goodness for that and his big 8 lbs. 11 oz self at birth) but he's my child.

I am also so glad to say that we still have a fabulous relationship going with A. I wasn't sure if we would hear from her once we left the hospital and it honestly made me sad. As opposed as I originally was to an open adoption, it crushed me to think that she would just disappear from our lives. I know a lot of people don't understand the open adoption mentality and I don't know how to explain it to someone who isn't going through the adoption process but I know it is what is going to be best for Keegan. It has already come in handy with needing to know medical history. Keegan was having issues with his formula and I was able to text A and ask her if there was any milk allergies in her family. She was able to share with me that he daughter had milk issues when she was young. I could then pass that on to Keegan's doctor. I would never have known that in a closed adoption. She knows we are his parents and even just the other day was still thanking me for everything we did for her. (That kills me she does that. She has NOTHING to thank us for and I feel as if we owe her everything.) There is no "threat" with our relationship with A, it's just an extra person to love Keegan. I don't know of anyone that would say it isn't a good thing to have someone love you.

Another amazing thing that has come out of all of this is my ability to connect with others. Friends that are dealing with infertility have felt comfortable enough to reach out to me. Not that I have some fabulous advice for them, but as someone who has struggled with infertility, I understand how important it is to have someone who truly understands the feelings that come with infertility to talk with. Friends who are considering adoption have reached out and again we have been able to chat about topics that only those going through adoption can understand. When I was first told I should blog about my journey I was unsure. I didn't know if I wanted to be that open with everything. I debated a lot about sharing different parts of the journey, from starting IVF to the miscarriage to being matched with A. I'm so glad I did though. If my story can reach one person and let them know they aren't alone with their thoughts and feelings, then it was worth all the tears I shed while writing many of my posts. I LOVE every time someone new reaches out. I LOVE talking about adoption and just hope people know that they can ask me anything. Whether it is because they are considering adoption to grow their family, or they are just curious.

I know most of you are friends on Facebook and have probably seen all these pics but I'm going to put them here anyway.

1 Day Old:


With the Judge the day he became 100% legally a Jones:



Birth Through 3 Months:



4 Months:







5 Months: