Going to give this a try....

Travis and I have been dealing with fertility issues now for a year and a half. We are currently getting ready to start our first IVF cycle and I was asked why I didn't blog about it for people that might be interested in following along. I make my kids blog at school.... so I guess it's only fair if I join in on the fun!

Some background information about our journey:

We realized a little over a year ago that what was pretty easy for most couples to accomplish... wasn't really working for us. I went to my normal ob/gyn dr and he had me take Provera and Femera. First round was a no go so we tried it again. 2nd time was also a no go. the 2nd time we tried, I had a progesterone check on day 21 to check progesterone levels and my levels were very low, especially with the meds I was on. I decided to call a fertility specialist and through the referal of a friend, went and met with one dr.

He decided to have us do an IUI. I was going to be on Clomid, estrogen, and Gonal F. Gonal F is an injectible med and I was SCARED! After the first initial shot though, it wasn't bad. I had to rely on my wonderful sister though for the trigger shot, and all though she was scared this time, she did great, and I didn't even feel it. We did the insemination and then I was put on progesterone. Then I entered the dreaded two week wait. This is the longest two weeks of any infertiles life. Every single twinge, cramp, anything is analyzed and then over analyzed. All this only to end with a negative test. I was crushed. By this time, I had gotten used to the tears that come with a negative test, but it still didn't make it easier. Of course Travis was there for me, as he has been through this whole thing, and let me just cry on his shoulder.

The kicker with infertility is that you don't get much time to wallow in self pity though, I had to go right back in for a baseline unltrasound so we could try again. We upped the meds this time and went for it again. About half way through the cycle, they check to see how the eggs are progressing, and I was really dissapointed to find out this time that I actually had fewer eggs with stronger meds than I did the first cycle. Still tried to stay positive though. Hit the dreaded 2 week wait again and still overanalyzed everything... again to no prevail as it was a negative again.

I knew that I needed to take some time off both physically and mentally. During this time, I decided that maybe I needed to change doctors. While I liked the doctor I was at, I never saw him. I met him at our initial consoltation meeting and then never saw him again... EVER. So I went off the advice of another friend and decided to switch to a dr. she used. On our first meeting with him I fell in love! He was funny and positive and very upbeat. I felt very comfortable here. He decided to do some tests we hadn't done before so we were pretty much on a break now for the next few months.

Once all the tests got completed it was decided that our best bet was to do IVF with ICSI. When I first heard this I was crushed. IVF was always one thing I had said that I wouldn't want to do. But then I thought back to all the things I had said I would "Never" do in my life and I could just hear God laughing...
1.) I will never date a man shorter than me....I married one
2.) I would never teach at the school I teach at... been there almost 4 years
3.) I would never give myself a shot.... done over 10
4.) I would never be able to go through IVF... here we go!

So currently we are waiting on a cycle, I am taking a round of Provera, and then will start all the meds, I believe there were 9 last I counted. Retrieval and Transfer should fall around the end of March, beginning of April. Doctor gave us a 60-70% chance of 1 and 30-40% chance of twins. Pretty good numbers.

So here is my first blog.... Don't know if anyone will even read it, or want to! But here it is anyway. It's actually kind of nice to write some of this out as it has been such a crazy year and a half with all of this and it's kind of nice to look back and remember all we have been through and reflect on all the many ways it has made me a stronger person. I have learned so much about myself and Travis. I've heard from many people that infertility can pull couples apart, but if anything I have felt closer to Travis throughout all this and couldn't imagine going through this without him by my side.

"I've found that all my plans I write for myself are written in pencil, and God holds the eraser."